In Loving Memory

Today is a tough day.A year ago today I gave birth to my son, Christian Mattias. For those of you who don’t know, Christian was stillborn. I have been dreading this day, because I was so clueless on what we should do. In preparation for this day I have been constantly reading message boards, blogs and articles on what it is I should do to celebrate his memory. Eric and I both decided that I am going to bake an angel food cake. I have to say at first I felt weird about making a cake, because I thought of it as a birthday cake and there is obviously no birthday. Instead we are just going to call it Christian’s cake, and an angel food cake seemed fitting. We are also doing a balloon release. We also lit a candle this morning and we are having it burn all day. We didn’t decide on the candle idea until yesterday, so I don’t have any special candle. Just a pumpkin pie scented candle. Every year from now we will have a special memorial candle made in his name.

These three things are going to be a new tradition that Eric and are going to do on Christian’s day, every year.

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17 comments on “In Loving Memory”

  1. Oh my gosh I am so sorry to hear of your loss ๐Ÿ™ You are in my prayers for God to ease your pain and comfort you. I will be making an angel food cake in memory of Christian too.

  2. I know there are no words to help you, but I am so sorry!

    I really love the candle idea!!

  3. I’m very sorry to hear that… that’s so sweet of you to honor his memory with the angel food cake and balloon release.

  4. I am so sorry, I did not know. I think a tribute as you have prepared is fitting and I will say a special prayer for Christian.

  5. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know that I will be saying a prayer for you as well today.

    On Facebook I just found out of a baby who was stillborn today to a mother who lost her husband (the father) just a few weeks ago. He was a police officer and killed in an altercation. I cannot imagine the pain she is feeling as well today.

    But to think of it this way, your son has a new little friend playing with him in Heaven today.

  6. Thinking of you today~!
    I have had 4 miscarriages so know at least a little of your pain.
    Be kind to yourselves today.

    Much love

    Kimmie
    x

  7. So sorry for your loss. I think your new traditions are wonderful ways to remember your son.

    Thinking of you…

  8. I am so sorry for the loss of Christian. I will be praying for you and your family

  9. I cant imagine the pain you must feel. You are a strong woman, a true inspiration. I’ll be praying for you and your family.

  10. Thinking of you, as well.
    Big, huge hugs.

  11. First off I want to say my heart goes out to you from one Mommy of an Angel to another. I lost my daughter Cooper at 6 1/2 months for unexplained reasons (aka SIDS). I will not say I know how you feel or understand what you are going through as everyone’s pain is different and that is one thing that upset me after Cooper’s passing. I know people say what they need to try and make you feel better but sometimes that has a reverse effect.I guess what I’m trying to say is You are an inspiration to others and Our Angles should be celebrated. Big Hugs and Much love to you and yours ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. My prayers go out to you.

  13. I’m so sorry for your loss. The two of you have chosen beautiful tributes to your son. My thoughts are with you.

  14. I am so sorry to read of your loss last year. You are such a strong woman – I can only imagine the pain you must feel, but it sounds as if your memorial was absolutely perfect.

  15. So sorry for your loss ๐Ÿ™

  16. I am so glad to hear that you celebrated the day. Six years ago (March 26, 2003) I lost a baby boy at just 12 days old. We have a “birthday party” every year for him.

  17. I’m so sorry for your loss. Everything you’re doing sounds like a very sweet way to remember him.

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