In Loving Memory

Today is a tough day.A year ago today I gave birth to my son, Christian Mattias. For those of you who don’t know, Christian was stillborn. I have been dreading this day, because I was so clueless on what we should do. In preparation for this day I have been constantly reading message boards, blogs and articles on what it is I should do to celebrate his memory. Eric and I both decided that I am going to bake an angel food cake. I have to say at first I felt weird about making a cake, because I thought of it as a birthday cake and there is obviously no birthday. Instead we are just going to call it Christian’s cake, and an angel food cake seemed fitting. We are also doing a balloon release. We also lit a candle this morning and we are having it burn all day. We didn’t decide on the candle idea until yesterday, so I don’t have any special candle. Just a pumpkin pie scented candle. Every year from now we will have a special memorial candle made in his name.

These three things are going to be a new tradition that Eric and are going to do on Christian’s day, every year.

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17 comments on “In Loving Memory”

  1. First off I want to say my heart goes out to you from one Mommy of an Angel to another. I lost my daughter Cooper at 6 1/2 months for unexplained reasons (aka SIDS). I will not say I know how you feel or understand what you are going through as everyone’s pain is different and that is one thing that upset me after Cooper’s passing. I know people say what they need to try and make you feel better but sometimes that has a reverse effect.I guess what I’m trying to say is You are an inspiration to others and Our Angles should be celebrated. Big Hugs and Much love to you and yours 🙂

  2. My prayers go out to you.

  3. I’m so sorry for your loss. The two of you have chosen beautiful tributes to your son. My thoughts are with you.

  4. I am so sorry to read of your loss last year. You are such a strong woman – I can only imagine the pain you must feel, but it sounds as if your memorial was absolutely perfect.

  5. So sorry for your loss 🙁

  6. I am so glad to hear that you celebrated the day. Six years ago (March 26, 2003) I lost a baby boy at just 12 days old. We have a “birthday party” every year for him.

  7. I’m so sorry for your loss. Everything you’re doing sounds like a very sweet way to remember him.

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